Quick Facts

Talking with your doctor to get what you need and the answers you want

Author: Anna Loengard, MD

July 2008

Everyone has a story to tell about leaving a doctor’s office baffled and lacking crucial information.  Whether it was because the doctor misinterpreted questions or seemed too rushed to adequately answer them, patients sometimes come away from an appointment feeling frustrated and confused.

Recognizing that some doctors have better communication skills than others, patients need strategies to get their questions answered and receive the best possible care.

Here are some tips for talking to your doctor and getting what you need:

  1. Make lists in between appointments so you won’t forget crucial questions.
  2. Rank your questions in order of importance in case you don’t get to cover everything.
  3. If you don’t understand something your doctor says – speak up and ask!  Even the most conscientious physician will use medical language on occasion.
  4. Bring someone to your appointments if you can.  Two sets of ears are more likely to hear everything – and you may have more confidence to ask questions with some support.  Also, your friend or family member can write down important information while you and your doctor are talking.  (Some web sites I have seen recommend tape-recording your doctor.  I don’t recommend this unless you ask in advance and have an established relationship with your doctor.)
  5. If your doctor seems annoyed by something you say or ask, question him/her about it.  He/she may be unaware of how they are coming across. (Example: "You seemed sort of upset when I asked about XXXX, and I don’t really understand why.  Did something bother you about the question?"
  6. If you feel that your doctor is resisting giving you pain medication, or any other treatment you feel you need, try acknowledging what your doctor has done well and then ask for more help.  (Example: "I really appreciate the great care you have given me for my (name your condition).  One area where I could really use your continued help is with my pain.  My quality of life is being compromised because I live with pain everyday, and I would like to feel better.  Do you think you can help me with this, or do you have a colleague you could refer me to?")

For additional information and resources on talking to doctors go to: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/talkingwithyourdoctor.html